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tired seh...today went to st. teresa's church there to report..mom's friend gave me a free ride there...they having childrens' day celebration there so yea...they running about the whole place like little monkeys like that-.-...
During mass i was like sleeping away sitting in between of WeiShan and Yuki...WeiShan she keep poking me awake towards the ending of the mass...not fair...i wanna continue sleeping!!! Stand also sleep sit also sleep...so yea was sleeping all the way so dun really care much...Thought that Father Arro was a german..turned out he is french...thick accent he has very thick...
Okayy so we were waiting for a few minutes in the canteen of the church before we can even start walking back to school...then from school its recess all the way til 11.30 and the thing is we had like an hour plus worth of recess spent outside of the library and telling ghost stories...lol we have been doing that for the past two recess..i still don't think the little song/story on Mary is that scary...if you hear the way Limshi jie she sing then you know how scary it is...no matter how hard you interupt her she will continue sing her eyes like blank voids, unreadable...ending the best part lol Scholastica got scared twice i think...or was it three times? Oh well Weiting say my eyes like scary scary looking...where got lor???? I am normal if i don't laugh i will make it even scarier than it is...lol like that little song...now dunno how i am suppose to fall asleep without those scary little things popping into my mind...Weiting stories all not scary de....
Chem lesson for the next two periods damn the boring, got to hear Yeo talked so loudly..i think my ears already suffering now still..rather ringy like thingy in my ears...ringy...yea...two periods of chem is enough lucky don't have to stay back for extra chem lesson or not i will scream out in frustration or out of sheer pressure cause later at 4.30 have extra chem tuition all because of one person...haiz headache seh so pain...(T.T) wanna scream...or drown it with depressant drinks like alcohol....this must be the side effect of this damn pain....feel like banging my head...
Tuition nothing much...same as yesterday quiet..when i ask the two other gal in my class whether they heard of that mary song they say no...so weird wonder how that song originated...saw Foo laoshi on the way home at the mrt of dhoby ghaut mrt there when i come up she go down-.-...head pain...so pain..i want to drown it out....head so pain...
Now i sit here in front of my com...typing and trying to stop from thiking dizzy and drowning out the pain with music...pain(T.T) go away pain(T.T) i can't take it! So pain....(T.T)
so tired!!!! got back from tuition not long also...now here in front of the com multi-tasking away...
this morning the first period eng...got called out together with Dianna, Shurong, Berna, Jaspreet, Charissaand Cheyenne i think...then all of us helping in the NE trail during the school open house...then my CCA the open house how???(T.T) Then next two periods are bio...nothing to do de today did case study like "CSI" as she has put it so nicely...though this is only more like doing paperwork for the amatuer wannabes...like we want to like that-.-...by the time half way through copying i gave up...took out little sketch pad and started doodling away like nobody's business...Lynlyn under table still reading her fanfic since this morning during assembly all the way til school over on her phone -.-...its a wonder her phone not confiscated yet...tomorrow during patron's day mass in church she surely down there reading her fanfic again and me bored to hell..i shall sleep there or not i listne to music...had PE today...only liked the part where can slack in the shade and watch WeeJia her team playing against Maria team bah...the way they play so interesting...then recess...got solo piano concert!!!Pris she played on the piano outside of the library...that out of tuned and useless keyboard de piano.....yea...social studies also nothing much.....just copy the correction then do the ranking the end...CME i think this time first time Ms Li/Lee she "blew up" after some people haven't hand in the project for like so long...yup "blew up" at least she is still in one piece and still sane enough to do so... then school over came back home use the com then change and go tuition...
came back from tuition now sitting infront of the com finding 'postmodernism' for Ms Koh her 'special' assignment....so sleepy...so sleepy...all becasue of 'postmodernism' deprive me of my sleep (T.T)...
Loving you
Yet hating you
Running away from you
Like i always have
I now live to see this
All that has come
All that has past
Loving yet hating
What have you done to me?
So many sleepless night
Spent wondering
Waiting
Watching
What to do
Should i run away
Again?
Splashing in dark waters,
Only making it darken even more.
Seeing the rippling waters,
Make me want to drown
Just to drown out my sorrows
You are catching up
Faster than i thought
For years i have been running
Knowing that this day will come
Should i face it?
Or run away?
Far away...
Now looking into the mirror
I see not me
But you reflection
Staring back at me
With those haunting eyes
Telling me
Everything...
The things that i have been running
Runnig away for so long
The many darken alley
I hide in
Just to get away from you
Are all coming
After me
When will this nightmare cease?
Or will i be forever running?
Hiding in the darkness
Using it to hide from you
What am i to do?
All i can do now
Is run
Crying to the moonless night
Just to get away
Far away from you
As long as i can...
another random poem just came to me when was on the bus back home...got stared by this lady who saw me like looking at something near here like some doll...i think she got rather nervous...pity...can't help it...was just look out at the dark sceney and she thought i was looking at her...do i really look like a doll with those haunting eyes?
Had PC lesson today nothing much really...only sit there listen and read my book or not start falling asleep...can't exactly rememebr what went on during PC lesson though...Went for maths lesson...Loke not here today so Gracie Goh took over her for the time being...keep telling us to study maths studay maths say what Ms Loke even though not here still will be touched if we take out maths book and study...ended up still reading my own book...when she finally sat down to mark her papers, stopped staring at Lynlyn's maths book pretending to read then just read my book...Lynlyn there under table using her phone to read fanfic of Michelle...Yuki i think she fell asleep bah...can't even rememebr where she sit not only know Brenda and Weiting sat to my left then its Lynlyn and Michelle sitting to my right.....yea did nothing in maths lesson then went all the way back down for geog lesson...listened to Mr Sng talked about the Nile River copied notes...Yuki in p-lit class... Then accounts...there I first person to start vandalising Lynlyn paper again then she complained after a few phrases written over her paper...-.- she too engross in her fanfic til she did not notice then say "Eh, vandalism..." lol...Yuki took her own pencil and wrote 'vandalism' on Lynlyn paper...blahblahblah...recess came went to library put bag there then go canteen...disappointing today dun have free solo piano 'concert' Pris she went to play in the canteen...so saddening...Mr P. Ng her look worse than last time in his hairstyle dunno wad happen to him...wear some pandent on a leather chain then his hair like flat flat dereminds me of a mop now...he look as though kanna soaked in the rain...luo tang zi...had chinese lesson and Ms Foo wasn't there so the whole period rather okayyokayy then somewhere in the middle our class co-form teacher appeared and sat at the back to watch our class...Lynlyn there was, "Aiyah why he sit there *pout*.." lol she has been reading her fanfic for like the whole morning all the way til then...when went to Ms Koh lesson expected to have free period then she say we like this time come into her class total chaos....then gave us Haiku to write...only have to write one i wrote two -.-...dunno lah...one of Pam's haiku like the second line same meaning as me de lol...
The falling of snow
Stained by the crimson liquid
Silence then befall
lol this me first haiku de then the second one i can't remember the first line liao...spent the time listening to mp3 and reading my book...so nice if step out of class cannot listen mp3 then might as well slack in class wad...go out to the canteen also cannot do much then need to walk all the way back again....
The darken waters
The falling red rose petals
Rippling forming circles
something like that me second haiku..can't really rememebr the exact one but the first haiku should be exactly the same de...haiz these few days my mind like keep forgetting a lot of things seh...and you people still can't guess the answer to that poem*shakes head* oh well then no treats to you all then XP...feeling so damn tired...headache....
haiz
tuesday nothing to say much about it...first period maths climb all the way up then climb all the way back down for accounts then got PE..our PE the way we play I think humhum played the cutest....see us running to tag her then she threw the ball behind anywhere?No one catch...lol
then got geog...my eyes felt so dry in that class....then recess went to eat then come back library there Weiting looking down watching Pricilla playing piano... we like everyday got piano solo concert there lol XP but Pris, you play til very nice very nice(^^)b went into the library and the three of us were like totally slacking in the chiar...got air-con got nice comfy cushioning got Yuki and Lynlyn doing very interesting 'poses'....then wenta bug Edlyn let me check up one web page...lol...by the time done the bell rang one minute later...lol gomen Ed...Lit class and kana picked again this time for not paying attnetion...-.- i am listening lor only want to write something to Lynlyn also cannot...haiz so saddening seh...saddening...lol lucky in a nice mood or not black mood all the way....Then its chinese...so relaxing watching movie..then Mai laoshi her class opned the partition and we all watched the movie...rather funny la...but some parts dun really understand..but more or less understand the whole show itself...cultural revolution....then come chem...same as usually boring,boring and boring...did nothing much except learn new calculation of concentration of solution...miraculously it actually went inside my head and stayed there...must be because he nagged to much on it that it became stuck to my head-.-''
Stayed back for geog extra lesson eyes keep getting dry like hell...pity mr sng he puked out his breakfast and did not eat anything at all..look like her wanna fall off any seconds like that when he stood up on that chair...pity him...was deprived of me music whn school over(T.T) such a torture(T.T)..i can't live without me music de(T.T) stupid Shogo or Keigo brought home my spare earphones de...sony brand somemore(T.T) i wanna kill them both when i next see them *death glares*irritating cousins *glares* waste my money they stole so many things from me(T.T) my poor things(T.T) Shogo Keigo!!!If i get my hands on you..you two will not be going to school with such a nice looking face..gonna ruin your freaking looks especially your hair Keigo!!!Gonna make you two look horrible to everyone there *glares*Lynlyn and "Princy" Yuki now both whenever me deprived of music like get scared of me like that (T.T) i that horrible meh???Lyn hit you also means love you what...lol...Yuki you did not really suffer much de lah...i think Michelle the best never suffer at all...lol...After lesson wenta TBP to get earphones...so ex...money all fly away...(T.T)...I wanna go watch Corpse Bride(T.T) Corpse Bride...(T.T) want to watch Corpse Bride(T.T) Corpse Bride(T.T)(T.T)
Yuki your grandparents so cruel killed a kitsune(T.T) i like kitsune alot (T.T) so sad it got killed(T.T) what happen if it has a family to take care of?(T.T) they ended the whole of that little kitsune's kit's lives(T.T)poor kitsunes(T.T)
today had our english paper one and two. did the topic on 'technoloy' for the part one of paper one and part two of that paper is just another info report, though so familiar like got do before de but can't remember where and when...paper two not bad still can still can, tried to use my own words for most of the answers rather losing hope soon though not sure whould rejoice at the ending of one paper and await for chinese paper or should cry or stone away about that paper....-.- my summary last three words gonna get cancelled out (T.T) i also can't help it what write til like this much lor...(T.T)
can see my veins in my hand...look so green....lol i think i write too much for paper one part one liao, two full page and a half...
Noises keeps chasing me through these darken hallways
Every corner i turn, will always be a darkened alley
Not once can i feel the warmth that I seek
Black nothingness staring back at me in a harsh way
Is it so bad for me to get what i wish for?
Why must i go through all these miseries?
Just to find what i am looking for in my life
Where has everything gone to?
I can't find anything
Just the same darkness
I have been stumblng through these mazes
Finding my way out
Everything is crumbling away
My world world has grown darker
Darkness slowy swallowing me up
As the thorns seem to grow around this world
A new wall of icyness has been erected within me
Changing who I am yey again
It will always be those noise following me
When can i see the light again?
Or am I to be forever shrouded within this darkness?
I feel like they are lowering the curtains
To what might be an end to my story for good
I feel myself slipping away slowly
Losing to the darkness creeping around me
Life is such a pretence
Who can i trust in this world?
Even they shine so dimly in the dark
Through all these,
The darkened water beckons to me
Like a seduction of an offer that I could not refuse
Such that it is enough to drown me,
In my own misery
Leaving me like the red rose petals
Against dark water.
Floating steadily
In the pale wanning moon,
With only the elements there
To mourn the passing of yet another person
There is now nothing to care
Though those noises are still chasing,
They will never find me here
Where I will be safe and sound
Wrapped up in my own little world
That the Darkness has graced me with.
A poem rather personal, but i modified it.
Those who can figure it out correctly i give you ice-cream(^^) but you only have one guess to this..Only one guess so yup make an intelligent guessnot something stupid...you might find out more about what is hidden within though...just a hint hint to certain people out there...lol
today has been a totally screwed up day....planned to take the one hour half to study there in the stupid shop downstairs of my tuition centre de then end up going to the temple...i mean i am not at all against going to the temple, but mom somehow managed to pissed me off by putting words into my mouth...hate it when they do that so danm the irritating...on the way home thought she haven't gotten into the damn train and she did... i mean i didna even see her! by the time reached the destination, i dunno why but i walked faster than i would usually do..i think that everyone who saw my face just got out of my way....yea then crossed the road and thought she also crossed...so a lady also wore white on that day...then i boarded the bus and thought that she was on it too.... then when the bus actually left, she was not there..called her phone also dun wanna pick up...by the time the bus stopped got out still need to wait for her... she like there saying i don't treat her like she is alive...hahaha...if i treat her as though she is alive, she will not even get a single word out of me i would walk by her like some stranger....she just made me go back to the same icy-ness when at home now....irritating...at least like that maybe my cough would get better faster....though on the way home she is crying...she treated me worse than this treatment before and i did not even cry and she is like sobbing in front of me...its like in by the road and she faced where the cars are to actually wipe her tears...if she wan to let the whole world know that she cried then she might as well cry there for them to see rather than to wipe a tear which is about to trickle down her cheek...i so hate crying at times...they always so messy and make my shirt wet then the next day go out shopping or whatever need to wear sunglass...now receiving and giving silent treatment...they shall not try my temper it...
i sound so damn the bad here to my family like that but i am in a totally bad mood and my day has been like screwed up....
English period and i can't even talk properly with my cough getting in my way...resorted to writing all over Sherlyn's comprehension paper and she calls it vandalism...infector......talk to Ms Koh also use paper and write(my paper)...next two periods was bio...had it in the rifle range there(at least there isn't a large number of dead croaches there...infact not even one in sight) Bio at least starting to get voice back but still very soft....well maybe extremely soft....bio all i did was just write down what she showed on the screen then write on me book to communicate....
PE the last period before recess we all did three rounds round the hardcourt then its stretching...sun so bright think might get heat stroke(crap).....by the time PE start can already talk but voice like on and off gone...so irritating...recess went canteen buy food then went to library there(like having little picnic there) passed Helena the photos and that magazine....SS period and i think i flunk my SS test...wrote loads of crap strtch til the second line of the next page..finished about 15min before the time is up and fell asleep on the table...so nice to sleep especially when the weather is like so accomodating seh^^ dunno at which point felt the full force of wind..so freaking cold...CME went down there Ms Lee allowed us to do our own things but no music mp3 and from my side can hear dunno whose music playing so loudly(wished that she had blasted it louder than can also listen) did two lousy drawings then bell ring already...haiz wanted to sleep then de.....gave Helena a ride to the mrt there...went to petrol station then went home...took a bath had my lunch sat in front of the com and now freezing to death waiting for the time to get out of the house and go to tuition...haiz....
haiz today had PE was very funny, we were like laughing most of the time than rather having a serious game of touch rugby. Most of the time Jiawei, Shurong, Qing qing and i were laughing at most parts of the game always will have a funny moment no matter what...wished someone had taken photos of it or at least captured it on video...
Geog class busy note-taking recess went all the way up to emaths class to get Lynlyn's pancake from under her table, i think ms sim found it a bit weird and so did a few other curious little 'mouse' lit class not much there, only poem about this war photographer then is chi. The best for today, foo laoshi she went to the hall to the people taking prelims. so yea the whole period most of them slack and slack and slack i think my table there the noisiest lol...Our poor knight in tarnished armour had bruised her leg there and darling qingqing offered to help her rub...lol
Weiting i admit i am bullying you at times lol can't help it. its in my nature to do so *evil grinz* lol
last period is boring chem, teacher he got angry because he says waited for us in the chem lab for like 10min and we like there at the LightHouse waiting for him for ten minutes which wasn't that bad until he came and made a big scene there scolding everyone...went down to chem lab and he says we must stay back for 15min after the school bell rang, he doesn't even care that we taking chinese oral!!! say we student must behave like student and dun wanna hear us making any sound of objection say wad need respect... i have no comments but this is how we students actually behave...
went up for oral with qingqing and got zhang jing as me examiner she very nice though rather worry about the results(>.<) somehow somewhere in the midst of talking english seem to have decided to partake in the exam...i try not to use unless i really xhou tou wu lu le...but she is like totally so nice (^^)
got home, cough got worse. finished off e-lit the poem homework however i forgot to write the five lines on the summary of the poem...haiz Lynlyn so lazy me do all the work(T.T) Lynlyn you abandon me at the most disturbing time...(T.T) me wan me prince in blood splattered armour....(-.-)'' i have no comments on myself now...
today is another boring normal day e-lit class was like hoping that teacher will catch Lynsher's illness and stay sick. Re did the poem thingy to another type though lynsher say its darker....
I shall remain commentless on that she fell asleep while i did another peom on the side... haiz
thank you Yuki for helping me edit me english that stupid essay...hate doing this type no more brain juice left for tuition the next day end up banging my head against the table....-.-''
niwaes gotta go print out stuffs liao
i so bored yesterday and today that i wanna go hit me head against the wall for dunno how long...can't believe i stayed back for dance today and the other gals did not stay back (T.T)
need to go sleep liao go sleep liao sleep liao sleep liao sleep ZzzzZzzzZzzzZ....
i miss yesterday the WCG so fun!!!!(>.<)wanna go have more fun haiz but fun time have to wait til me exams finish in like 8weeks time on october the 26 so need to get stuff ready for EOY de cosplay...gonna do Sei from Bakuretsu Tenshi so lonely dunno who going to EOY with me then(T.T) need to go study liao
you people can try going to sgcafe de gallery and see the pictures
well i have to go liao
ja ne
two more days before school reopened, and after tomorrow is the convention, now to come to think of it, i still have yet to alter the waist area. Darn, and i just finished sewing on the ribbons to the front, after much measuring. Tomorrow going down to collect me accessories at that shop. Can't wait to see Baoshin and the rest then.
KaKthis sunday the WCG i can't wait (>.<) just registered for the competition hope that they will accept i wanna win the special WCG games cosplayer award. its a Samsung Mobile Phone X640C. I wish they will accept my late entry(>.<)... (T.T) I wish there will not be anyone there or else where criticising on me costume (>.<) and i am going as an OC gothic lolitha...aahhhh so nervous, i need to check me mail later tonight. Now go study and study and study....
i can't believe I slept til one in the afternoon today before even getting out of bed.
Need to break this stupid habit not healthy.
I found out some interesting things revovling around a certain someone.(You don't know who they heck this person is)
Anyway this sunday the WCG I am so going!!! (>.<), can't wait to see the other cosplayers there haven't been in contact with them for like so long. So sad Rika not going (T.T)
Should go as gothic lolitha or another costune or just go there in my normal costume?
ponder this stupid problem another time, tmr make a trip to the tailor and ask her some stuff.
EOY got interesting show being put up liao lol. can't wait to watch can't wait to even be there on december 10 if not wrong should be held at the expo hall again. heard got battle royal, bleach, dynasty warriors, naruto. wonder if there is a triniy blood group or maybe is it angel sanctuary?
anyways i can't wait to go there this year, to see everyone again (^^) lalala. need to go find out more details on me character for EOY now.
chao!
like my new blog????
Like the poem???
Must tell me okayy? The author she wanna know what you think about her poem. XP
Lucky holidays starting, or not i won't even be able to use the internet that often.
One week of holiday then when school reopen we have about 3 weeks til our exams start.
Such a sad sad thing. One week to play Maple and study.
Next Sunday got WCG Rika not coming down (T_T) got to wait til EOY to see her...
Wonder is Ziru, Erlond they all coming down... I know SK is coming for the competition cosplaying as Bankotsu from Inuyasha the Shichinintai leader(7 ren ban group of people).
Though I don't think he can really fit that character.(-.=)''
My EOY costume still at the tailor.
I keep forgettign to tell her that i also wanna tailor the top inside, so lazy to make it.
Since she has part of the materials with her, maybe she can help me with it.
Hmmm....should I?
Sherlyn!!!! Yuki!!!! You two must remind me(if you are reading this) or else I forget...
Okayy i have nothing else more to rant about now...Night night i wanna go Maple liao...